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17 May 2012 @ 09:48 am
It's just a moment of change, 6/?  
Title:  It's just a moment of change, 6/?
Rating:  PG-17
Words:  1,732
Warnings:  Puck's dirty, dirty mouth.
Spoilers:  1x16 Home, AU
Summary:  Gold star, Berry.  Gold f------ star.

Finn texts him about a pool party and beer pong at Dan Meyer’s house, which sounds better than sitting on his ass after a day’s worth of odd jobs.  He rolls with Hudson and a couple of their former teammates, which is kind of like, for show.  He mostly goes because ain’t shit happening elsewhere.  And coincidentally, it’s two houses down from the Berry residence.

It’s mainly the graduating class that’s invited, which to him is tired and boring.  He’d already been there and done that by the end of his freshman year.  Some of the girls give him this stupid look as if to warn him to stay away.  Like, if he so much breathes on them – insta-baby!  It’s enough to have him respond with a wink here or there and also gesturing at them by grabbing his own crotch.  The guys laugh it up and surround Puck like he’s a motherfuckin’ king.  And it’s not just because he’s boss at making chicks squirm in their panties.  Not gonna lie, though, Santana has mad street cred.  It kind of helps when she struts her short skirt past everyone, just to give Puck a flirtatious little hug and a kiss on the cheek.  By the way, for a lesbo, she’s really good at that kind of shit.  Which maybe it’s because chicks want to be like her and like her.  Damn.

After straight up schooling in four rounds of beer pong, he loses interest.

He goes outside on the deck with a beer to get some fresh air.  It’s pretty chill in the back, and the pool looks like the beginnings of low-budget porno.  It reminds him of something he was supposed to do.

Puck (11:20pm):  Sup

Berry aka crazy (11:21pm):  Why are you texting me?

Puck (11:21pm):  Cuz

Berry aka crazy (11:22pm):  ‘Cuz’ is not an actual response, you do realize?

Puck (11:24pm):  Im bored

Berry aka crazy (11:25pm):  Your boredom is not my problem to manage.  I suggest finding a good book to read, or playing an instrument, or writing a song, or watching a movie, etc.  The possibilities are endless.

Puck (11:26pm):  Im coming ovr

He’s just finished downing his last beer and walking out the back gate, when his phone blows up.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

She sounds pissed.  It makes him smile a little.

“About to knock on your front door,”

“What?!  You’re joking, right?  You… you can’t!  My fathers are home!”

“Your driveway’s kinda empty except for your gay car.”

She makes this exasperated noise over the phone that’s cute and totally expected.  And then hangs up.

A long minute passes before he hears the front door unlatching and suddenly she’s there, dressed in a girly and silky pink robe – short and above the knees, of course.  He smiles at her big, round, accusatory eyes and flushed face, which is evident even in the dimly lit foyer.

“Please get in this house before my neighbors see you and decide to call the cops.”

He shuts the door behind him and bumps into her, just standing there and apparently waiting for some sort of explanation.  They just sort of stare at each other and it’s quiet save for her angry, loud breaths and his quiet ones, and the ticking of a grandfather clock in the hall.  Usually she’s the first to give in (especially in the realms of conversation), but something’s not right.  She’s not caving.  So he does.

“’K, real talk,” he blurts.

He grabs her hand and leads her to the living room, which he remembers fairly well.  He can’t see it that well now, but it’s been stained in his mind forever because it’s painted fucking orange.

“You’re like stuck in my head,”

He hopes she doesn’t read into the encryption of what basically means I can’t stop thinking about you.  Her eyes get even bigger, and for a second, he thinks he’s been caught.  He doesn’t realize he’s still holding her hand until she slowly pulls away.  She spreads them across her lap, trying to flatten and lengthen the end of her night robe.  Not happening.

“Noah, I don’t have time for your juvenile games.”

“It’s not a game.  It’s a… a proposition.”

“Well, go on.”

“Uh… I trade you something you want for something that I want…?”

There’s a long pause, before she narrows her eyes at him and pokes his chest.

“I don’t know what you have that I could possibly want.  However, I will consider this so-called proposition depending on what I can leverage in my favor and what it is you’re looking for.  So, tell me, what do you propose?”

“Your virginity.”

“Excuse me?” she sputters.  “How… do you know that I’m still a… a virgin?”

“When you were hooking up with that St. Gay kid.  And Finn thought dude stole your v-card.  But he didn’t.  You pretty much announced it,” he points to her accusingly.

“What?!  How does everyone know this?”

“C’mon, Berry.  Your life is like the 11 o’clock news, no one really cares but for some sick reason they watch it anyway.  Plus, you’re really loud.”

She glares at him and he realizes he’s not helping his own situation.

“This is entirely low, even for you, Puck,” she pops the ‘p’ in his name.  And it sounds amazingly sexy.

“Yeah, I normally don’t have to proposition for sex.  It just happens,”

She seems to be thinking, so he stays silent.

“What would I get in exchange?”  She asks after a long pause.

He’s surprised that she’s even considering.  He’s stoked for sure, but floored that she hasn’t screamed at him for being a perv and booted him out of her house.  He’s seen some virgins ready to go, but this is completely different altogether.

He shrugs, saving himself from saying anything stupid.

“I would like musical accompaniment as well as a voice partner during my at-home practices, twice a week until school begins – I need to be prepared and well-versed for the—”

“Yeah, yeah I can do that—”

“AND a date to homecoming in September.”

“Hells no.”

“This includes the expense of a corsage and a dinner at Breadsticks, of course,” she smiles smugly, folding her hands in her lap and ignoring his previous reply.


“Why, Noah Puckerman… are you backing out of your own proposition?”

What the fuck.

“Rach, I know homecoming is like a rite of passage… or something.  But, it’s lame babe, trust me.  It looks like Party Depot threw up in the gym and you have chaperones eye-fucking you while you’re try’na feel up your girl while dancing at the same time.  Not to mention, they wouldn’t know good jams if it bit them in the ass.  Seriously?  Who the fuck says ‘no’ to Notorious B.I.G.?”

He groans when he recognizes that terrorizing glint in Rachel’s eyes.  He probably just described her dream night – rainbow balloons, chastity, and top 40’s garbage.  She looks like a shark that smells blood.

“That sounds fabulous!” she exclaims eagerly.


“Then, you have no deal and I will be taking my virginity elsewhere,”

“Look.  I’m officially out of high school, babe.  Why would I ever wanna go back?  SOCIAL SUICIDE.”

“Right.  Since your… reputation… has always weighed heavily in your decision-making…”

She’s making a face that basically reads ‘you’re so full of shit’.  But he goes with it anyway.


Rachel takes a step forward, letting one of her bare knees lightly touch his left shin and the silk of her robe brush his arm.  He is way more turned on than he really should be.  She peers up at him with a visibly nervous smile.

“Well, that’s unfortunate, Noah, don’t you think?” she asks in a soft voice.  “While some of your qualities aren’t exactly in my top ten, I just know from our shared history that you are skilled enough to mentor me through this… experience, and well, to be very honest… qualified to make it quite enjoyable.”

Instantly, his dick is half hard.  So he caves.

“Thirty minutes at the dance.  That’s it.”

“I want sixty full minutes at the dance.  One hour.  Don’t forget Breadsticks and the corsage.”  She reminds him in a business-like voice, as she moves even closer.

He groans under his breath before he comes to the realization that Rachel Berry is doing a sound job of manipulating his cock.

“Wait a second.  Are you sure you’re a virgin?”

She smiles sweetly – a whole different person than the relentless businesswoman he was just talking to.

“My easygoing demeanor shouldn’t surprise you, considering that I’m a natural competitor as well as a trained actress slash singer slash dancer.  I’m an ambitious girl, as you know, driven solely by what I want.  And what I want is to secure a real boyfriend this upcoming year; someone who doesn’t pursue me in order to serve as a distraction and therefore an obstacle to my goals and dreams [St. Flames].  And maybe someone who likes me, and just me [Finn].  Also, someone who isn’t confused about their sexual identity [not sure].  And if I want the best, I think I’d like to be the best.  And judging by your track list – I’m quite sure you’ll be able to determine the truth for yourself,”

Gold star, Berry.  Gold fucking star.

“Deal,” he says quickly.

She takes a step back and sticks her hand out.  Instead, he takes one step forward, grabs her hips as he presses the lower part of himself against her to make her aware that, yeah, look what you did.  She looks up at him in surprise and he takes the opportunity to touch his mouth to hers.  It’s abrupt, but as soon as they’re kissing he waits for her to react by coaxing her lips with his.  She responds instantaneously, moving with his, but letting him control the pace.  Her lips part just enough that she’s able to moan into his mouth, to which he slides his tongue in deftly, stroking hers as slow and as controlled as possible.  His hands have slid up her waist and shoulders to cradle the sides of her face as he finishes her off with a soft tug on her bottom lip.

“Thought I’d seal the deal with a kiss instead of a handshake,” he says after catching his breath for a second.

He forgot how fun this was.